The Gift

The Gift

It's been awhile since I posted anything to my blog. You know how it goes, big intentions and then reality steps in and shows you just how much time you don't have to do things like write pages of random thoughts. Between work, kids, girlfriend, the holidays, and now a new musical project, time is a scarce commodity.

But today I find myself with the need to write - to confess really. You see, the other night, I took advantage of someone. I know that sounds really bad, so let me explain. It was more like I found myself in a situation whereby there was an exchange with another individual, and I got by far the better of the deal. Still confused? Let me go back a few more steps...

There I was, doing a little shopping at Target. The bottle of body wash that I that I keep in my gym bag had run dry, and I was tired of using the crappy soap they have in the dispensers at the gym. Plus, I had run out of snack size Ziplock bags, so I had been letting my kids get a hot lunch at school rather than packing their lunch like I usually do. I also needed to get some Granola bars for their lunches too.

Body Wash. Ziplock Bags. Granola Bars....

I had something else on my mind. The day prior, I had been speaking to the executive director of The Modesto Gospel Mission. MGM is the primary charity that feeds and shelters the local homeless population, and I had been working on an idea to help raise donations though my business to help out.

Body Wash. Ziplock Bags. Granola Bars. Helping the Homeless...

One more component. I had a $100.00 bill in my wallet. I had been saving it as “fun” money to take my girlfriend out to make up for the fact that I had to work all Thanksgiving weekend.

Body Wash. Ziplock Bags. Granola Bars. Helping the Homeless. $100.00 Bill....

And then it all came together. I remembered something I had seen on Facebook several months ago where someone had put together “goodie” bags for Homeless people. Contained within the bags were basic essentials that You and I might take for granted, but that a Homeless person would treasure. As I stood in the aisle of mens grooming products, I looked to my right and saw a wall full of travel sized cosmetic and hygiene products.

I loaded up my basket with travel sized toothpaste, hand sanitizer, tissue packs, toothbrushes, deodorant, lotion, and sanitary wipes. 2 aisles over were the Ziplock bags and in addition to the snack sized bags, I bought a box of gallon sized bags.

Then I headed over to the snack area and bought boxes of raisins, granola bars, protein bars, squeezable applesauce, and fruit snacks. I bought anything that would be easy to eat, didn’t require refrigeration, and packed calories, carbs, or protein.

I took my supplies to the check out counter, plunked down my $100.00 bill, shoved the change into my pocket, and headed to my truck. On my way home, I was stopped at a railroad crossing, and as I waited for the light to change, I saw a man and a woman heavily bundled up walking along the tracks. They looked homeless, but I wasn't quite sure. As they got closer to my truck, I could see the weathered look on their faces that told me that they spent a lot of time outdoors. “Dammit” I thought to myself. All of my supplies were still in the Target shopping bags. I should have taken them out and assembled them into kits.

The light changed and I drove through the intersection to the parking lot of Walgreens. I hopped into the backseat of my truck and spread out 4 gallon sized Ziplock bags and filled them with supplies. I wanted to be ready to hand them out if the opportunity presented itself. In fact, I decided to increase my odds of an encounter, so I re-routed my way home to drive downtown by Denair Park where homeless people tend to hang out.

As I was driving up to the park, my phone rang. It was my girlfriend.

“Hey baby, watcha doing?” she asked.

“I'm hunting for homeless people..” I replied.

“WHAT???!!”

I explained my plan, and she thought it was pretty cool despite the fact that I used our “date night” money to fund the endeavor.

As we were talking, I saw a man walking down the sidewalk. He was disheveled and wearing a large jacket. Behind him, he was pulling a large, ragged suitcase.

“Hang on – I think I found someone”, I told her. I stayed on the line with her using my bluetooth earpiece as I pulled my truck over, grabbed a bag, and ran across the street where the man was standing.

As I got closer, I could see that he wore glasses, had shaggy grey hair and a three day beard . His pants fit around the waist, but were too long, so he had them rolled up around his ankles revealing an old pair of leather loafers. He appeared to be about my age, but much more weathered. Yet despite his unkept appearance, what stood out most was his smile. Before I had said a word to him, he was grinning ear to ear like he was just happy that he had someone to talk to.

“Hi”, I said to him. “I was wondering if I could give you something” I said handing him the bag.

“What's this?” he asked.

“Just some stuff I thought you could use” I told him.

“Wow – thanks!” he said to me looking a little bewildered. “Do you know how to get to Colorado Street? I'm not from around here.”

“Yeah, it's about 2 blocks up” I said to him, pointing up the street.

“I get a little confused sometimes, but I'm not totally lost” he said with a smile.

“No, you're pretty close” I said.

“Okay, thanks. And thanks for the stuff..” he said holding up the bag as he walked away.

I turned and started walking back toward my truck, but something told me to turn around. I turned around and saw that he had stopped and turned around too.

“God be with you !!” he yelled.

“You too !!” I yelled back.

I stood and watched until his white jacket faded into the darkness. All the time, I had forgotten that my girlfriend was still on the phone.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Nothing. He walked away..” I told her.

Over the next couple of days, my girlfriend and I talked about that night, and I decided to give the man I met a name – Tom. I don't know if that's his name or not, he just looks like a Tom. Although I gave Tom about $12.00 worth of snacks and supplies, he gave me something much more valuable. He gave me something to think about that I won't soon forget.

He made me realize that a Homeless person could be anybody. He could have been someone's son or father. He could have been someone's neighbor or former co-worker. If the right series of events occurred, he could be me.

And he made me realize that I don't have anything to complain about. Here was a guy with everything he owns in a raggedy suitcase, walking around in the freezing cold, and he was still smiling.

Yeah, I got the better of the deal.

The M Word

 

Oh boy did Paula Deen get herself into trouble !!! She said “The N Word” !! As a result, her corporate sponsors and business partners have cut ties with her and cancelled contracts worth millions of dollars. The Food Network that made her famous won't renew her contract. Wal Mart, Target, JC Penny and Sears have cancelled all future orders for her branded merchandise. Even Caesars Entertainment will be pulling her name off her restuarants in their casinos. Really?

I'm not advocating the use of racial slurs or treating people of a given race unfairly based on their national origin. I'm just not so sure that people are as offended by the use of the word as these corporations think, or that people should be that offended. Let's face it. There's a lot of insulting language in the world, and there's a slur for just about every race. There's Beaners for Mexicans, Chinks for Chinese, Wops for Italians and Micks for Irish. But strangely enough, there's no such thing as “The B word” or “The C Word” or “The W Word” or “The M Word”. And why is that? Because all the other racial slurs haven't been deemed unspeakable like “The N Word.”

Isn't that a form of racism in and of itself? Isn't it a form of discrimination to imply that using a slur against African Americans is an intolerable act worthy of dismissal from your job while using the other slurs is not nearly as offensive? Would her sponsors have cut and run like they did if she would have used “The W Word”? I bet they wouldn't have.

Indeed, as a result of the O.J. trial, there is a perception by some that “The N Word” is possibly the most venemous, vile, offensive word in the English language. Case in point, in the movie “Grand Torino”, Clint Eastwood portrays an aging Veteran who drops racial slurs like nobody's business. He uses words like Mick, Wop, Zipperhead, Spics and Gooks. But he never uses “The N Word”. Even though his character has extreme racist qualities, “The N Word” is still considered off limits.

So I guess no one can say “The N Word” then , right? Wrong. Rappers still use it on a regular basis. Comedian Chris Rock has several very popular routines centered around it. And when used by these people, no one seems to be offended. And they shouldn't be.

After all, it's just a word. The word itself has no power. It's power comes from the context in which it is used, and the intent of the person using it. It can be used to hurt and degrade people, or it can be used to make people laugh. Yes, laugh.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all relax and not be so uptight about the labels that are sometimes thrown around? Aren't there bigger concerns in the world to address than this? My Dad is Filipino and is married to a Mexican woman. Their Facebook profile is FlipnBean. They are obviously neither racist or overly sensitive to mere words. I think it's awesome that they haven't bought into this thing I call "The Culture of Hypersensitivity."

It seems odd to me that while we are so hyper sensitive to matters relating to race or gender, we are totally immune to other things that we should find far more offensive. For example, the 1946 Disney classic "Song of the South" has never been released to the public in it's entirety for fear that the G rated movie contains racial stereo types. Meanwhile, a movie like the hard R rated "Evil Dead" contains scenes of rape, self mutilation, decapitation, and all manner of blood spewing violence, and is praised by critics as being "gleefully bloody".

I think as a country and as a culture we've got this backwards. I remember growing up in the '70s and watching the Norman Lear produced sitcoms like "All in the Family", "Good Times", "The Jeffersons", and "Chico and the Man". By today's standards, all of these shows would be considered racist because of the language they used, but in reality, they were actually quite complimentary to people of color.

"The Jeffersons" showed that a black family could be as sucessful as their white neighbors and stand on equal socio-economic footing. "Good Times" depicted a family, like many, that had very little in terms of material or financial resources, but still relied on the strength of the family unit and still believed in the ethic of hard work.

Other shows like "Sanford and Son" and "The Flip Wilson Show" made comedians Redd Foxx and Flip Wilson household names, and we all tuned in and laughed. We laughed with them, and there was never an ounce of hatred towards the cast because they were black. We embraced them and we were color blind.  White audiences laughed at the character of Archie Bunker because his views were so far from being reasonable that is was comical, while black audiences laughed at the antics of Fred Sanford and his grumpiness. We laughed at each other and we laughed at ourselves. But most importantly, we laughed together.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KunVw2WQE8


(caution - if you click on this link, you will hear the word "nigger" - ooops, I mean "The N Word.")

















 

 

Karma and the Flight From Hell !!!

Before the economy took a dive, I used to travel quite a bit for work. One time, I had just boarded a plane in Florida for a trip back to California and I was sitting there watching  the other passengers board and playing the mental "Which one is gonna sit next to me ?" game.
You know the game - you check out the other passengers as they shuffle down the aisle and you try to use your telekinetic abilities to either deflect or attract a good seat mate. ( I can't be the ONLY one who does this !!!)
"Hmmm - Guy in a business suit, eh - maybe. Stinky Pakistani in a turban - Force Field at Max !!! Elderly Grandma looking woman - Yeah, that would be okay. She'll probably offer me some Lemon Drops that she's had in her purse since the Nixon adminstration. They might have a little lint on them, but I don't think they have an expiration date and I love Lemon Drops, so I'm okay with that. Oh Oh Oh !! Wait a Minute !! Super Model !!!! Scotty !!! Tractor Beam On Full !!! Divert power from the shields if you have to !!! "
Well, one by one, they all find their seats elsewhere until the seat next to me is the only one left on the plane. I'm thinking - Bonus !!! I get to stretch out on this 6 hour flight !!! WRONG !!!
Like the Tyrannosaurus paddock scene from Jurassic Park, I am startled by the vibration of thunderous footsteps coming from behind the First Class curtain. I look up just as the curtain parts and I  see what is possibly the largest, most obese person I have ever seen. This guy looked like Chris Farley, but much bigger. That's correct - bigger. He had to weigh 350 if he weighed an ounce.
I desparately start scanning the cabin in the hopes that there is at least one more open seat other than the one next to me.  And then it happens...
He makes eye contact with me and starts making a beeline for my row.
Now I'm pretty sure I didn't say it out loud, but I can't promise that he couldn't read my lips as I thought to myself "No Effin Way !!!"
Defeated, I stand up and let him into the row. He takes the window seat, and I have the aisle seat.
To be clear, let me just say that when I say I had the aisle seat, I mean I had the AISLE SEAT ! This guy is so big, that he is spilling over into my seat and taking up more than half of my seat. At best, I have one butt cheek precariously balanced on the edge of the cushion and the rest of me is in the aisle.
The flight attendant makes her final rounds and tells me that passengers aren't allowed in the aisle during take-off. To this I simply nod my head to the left , roll my eyes and give her my best "Seriously?!! Really?!! " look.
The plane takes off, and I wait patiently until the captain turns off the "fasten seat belt" sign.
As soon as the sign goes off, I pop out of my seat faster than a contestant being called out on "The Price Is Right" and approach the flight attendant. I explain my dilemma to her and ask her if there are ANY seats left on the plane including First Class, or even a crew jump seat. She says "I'm sorry sir. It's a full flight and you'll have to stay in your assigned seat."
" I can't", I tell her. "3/4 of my seat is being taken up by the guy next to me" .
"Sorry sir. There's nothing I can do"  - UGHHHHHHH !!!!
Disgusted, I make my way back to my fractional seat and plop my one butt cheek down.
Then my mind starts racing. I think about the ethical and PR ramifications of making large people pay for two seats when they can't fit into a single seat. I picture a test seat being set up right next to the frame that you put your carry on bags in to see if they fit in the overhead bin. Your luggage doesn't fit?  - Gotta check it. Your butt doesn't fit? - Gotta pay for two seats.
After about 40 minutes of sitting in a contorted, spine wracking pose, I'm seriously considering just going into the lavatory and spending the rest of the flight on the toilet. Hey, at least it's a seat !
As I get up to execute "Operation: Hog The Lavatory", the "fasten seat belt" sign dings on again.
"Ladies and Gentleman, we will be landing in Atlanta in about 10 minutes. Please take your seats and prepare for landing."
I had forgotten, we have a brief layover in Atlanta before continuing on to San Francisco. This could be my answer. I'll de-plane, and then book a separate flight to San Francisco. Granted, it will be expensive, but then again, so are Chiropractors.
The plane lands and I get up to grab my carry on bag and make my escape from what will surely be the flight from hell.
As I stand up, so does Big Boy. "This is my stop" he says.
Hallelujah !!!!! (I'm pretty sure that this time I did say it out loud.) I move out of the way, and let him out of the row. As he walks away, I sit down and reclaim my seat by slamming down the armrest, or as I now think of it, The Gauntlet.
A few minutes pass and then the new group of passengers boards the plane. Once again, it's time to fire up the telekinetic powers.
"Force Field....Force Field... Tractor Beam.."
They all board, and yet the seat next to me remains unoccupied.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to United Flight 132 to San Francisco. Flight Crew - prepare the cabin for take-off."
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS !!!! I get to double dip on the seats !!! This is better than going through the drive through at In and Out and having them accidently put an extra Double Double in the bag !!!
Up goes The Gauntlet as I comfortably spread my frame over both seats.
Ahhhhh - Karma is a beautiful thing

Oh, For The Love of God !!!!

Here it is. My first Blogger entry. As stated in my header, these are my thoughts, my opinions, my observations, and my experiences. You might relate to them, or you might disagree or even be offended by them. Expect moments of reflection, criticism and a healthy dose of humor. Up first - Religion....

"Where do we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?"

These are the lyrics from one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands, Dream Theater. Aside from being a great song, I love how in three simple lines, the lyric sums up the core of all religions. Where do we come from? Why are we here? Where do we go when we die? Mankind has been seeking the answers to these questions for thousands of years, and will continue to do so as long as the human race exists. Why? because the answer will never come. The answers to these questions are unknowable. We can speculate and believe the answers to these questions, but we can not know them. They are matters of faith, not facts.

Religion is about faith, not facts. Granted, sometimes there are historical or archeological facts that may support a certain belief, but ultimately, it's what we choose to believe. But what happens when Faith and Facts collide?

I was raised in a Christian household. My adopted father was an interesting man. He attended Seminary and had a Divinity degree, but was also a Science teacher in an elementary school. At a fairly young age (in his forties), he attained 3 Masters degrees. He studied History, Politics, Science and Religion. Without a doubt, he was an incredibly intelligent and educated man who believed in God. How? Because he was able to listen to both his brain and his heart. He was able to  reconcile his scientific mind with his passionate heart and the desire to believe in something that science could never explain while still respecting the scientific process and not denying scientific fact.

I wish more Christians possesed that ability. I wish more churches would teach people that the universe and planet Earth are more than 10,000 years old and that Dinosaurs and Humans never co-existed. I would love to hear a sermon that could explain how every species of animal on the planet fit onto Noah's ark and were cared for by 8 people. (By way of comparison, the San Diego Zoo employs about 600 people.) Maybe it's just my curious nature, but I need to know how stuff works on a logical level in order for me to be able to wrap my brain around it. I think that  is why it's taken me many years to sort through my upbringing and decide as an adult what I truly believe.

In a nutshell, I'm a Christian. Let me tell you what that means to me.

It means that I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. In fact, the word "Christian" means "little Christ". But what does "Christ" mean? Some people may surprised to learn that Christ was not Jesus's last name. In his time, Jesus would have been known as Jesus of Nazareth or possibly Jesus, son of Joseph. "Christ" is the ancient Greek translation for the Hebrew word Messiah or Annointed. In other words, to be Christian means to be like Jesus.

It means to be kind and compassionate. It means to be humble and not judgmental. It means to be responsible and fair. It means to enjoy life and love those around you. It means to do the right thing even if it's the hardest thing.

I'm not saying that I do a great job at doing all these things. Actually, I can be a real jerk sometimes. I admit it.

But despite my shortcomings, even a self professed jerk like me at least gets the point of Christianity, and I am amazed and disheartened by those who claim to be Christians and miss the point completely. 

When I see members of Westboro Church taking delight in the massacre of innocent children in Newtown and claim that God sent the shooter because Connecticut has pro gay laws, I am disgusted and angered.

I am appalled when I see "faith healing" con men like Peter Poppoff making millions of dollars by preying on the desperate and I wonder how a person could lack even a shadow of a conscience  to do what he does.

The Catholic church has protected and concealed priests that engage in the molestation of children. Appalachian Pentecostals encourage followers to handle lethal rattlesnakes as a test of faith and to refuse medical treatment if they get bitten. Many of them die.

Warren Jeffs, the leader of a radical Mormon sect is serving a life sentence for arranging forced "marriages" and the the consequent rape of girls as young as 12 years old. Ted Haggard led a congregation of over 14,000 in his church in Colorado where every week he would espouse his conservative beliefs. What his congregation didn't know was that Ted was secretly having a 3 year affair with a male escort with whom he also liked to smoke meth.

And the list goes on and on. Indeed, some of the most criminal, outrageous, hypocritical, appalling acts have been performed in the name of God. How can anybody get it so wrong? How could anybody miss the point by that wide of a margin?

It's heartbreaking to see how sometimes people take something that is beautiful and Divine and distort it to the point of being sick and evil. And all the more reason to rejoice when someone gets it right.

I love reading about how the new Pope Francis has forgone the opportunity to live in solitary opulence and has chosen instead, to live in a simple apartment and eat breakfast every morning with other priests. I love the fact that the Pope spent Easter humbly washing the feet of inmates at a delinquent center including Muslims and women.

In Burton, Ohio, a church celebrated it's 200th anniversary by encouraging it's members to perform 200 acts of random kindness in their community. It's members baked cookies for public servants, paid for meals for strangers, filled neighbors' cars with gas and more. And most of the acts were done in anonymity.

When devastating tornados hit Oklahoma, several area churches banded together to donate drinking water, clothing, personal care items, medical care, and even stuffed animals to the families that had experienced unimaginable chaos and loss.

These are stories of true Christianity. These are the times when people conduct themselves in accordance to the example set by Jesus. These are the times when people are at their best.

And by the way, one doesn't need to believe in Jesus to be Christian. I can think of 3 people who I have met in my life that are exemplary models of Christianity, and all three are Agnostic. Conversely, I can also think of several people who are terrible examples of Christianity, all of whom are Bible thumping, regular church goers.

As for myself, I'm probably somewhere in between. I have my beliefs, but I sometimes stray from them. I struggle with my pride, my ego, my impatience, and my stress. I'm far from perfect, but that's okay. God knows my faults and still thinks I'm a pretty good guy, and that's good enough for me.